If you experienced chronic childhood trauma you learned to disconnect as a form of mental and emotional self-protection. Your limbic brain (the part wired for survival) signals fight, flight or freeze when it encounters a threat to safety. Since you did not have the option to run away (flight) or physically protect yourself (fight), your only option was to shut down (freeze) the wounded parts of yourself. These sequestered, wounded child parts are the origin of your inexplicable, emotionally charged triggers. What the subconscious chooses to suppress becomes an obstacle to clarity and peace within.
Adults wrestling with the lingering effects of chronic childhood trauma often feel they are living on the periphery of life, happiness and, sometimes, even sanity. Struggling to comprehend how and why “normal” people function as they do, only increases their sadness, anger, frustration and confusion. They consistently experience varying degrees of being disconnected from those in their familial, social and professional circles; worst of all, they exist in an inescapable limbo where they are disconnected from themselves. They know something is awry, but they can never quite seem to identify exactly what that elusive something is.
I know what It is The Monster Under The Bed . I lived with It. I nearly didn’t survive It. But I did. My recovery journey from chronic childhood trauma was a wonderful, terrible, exhilerating, sometimes frightening journey. The most important thing to learn as you heal is that there is NOTHING inherently wrong with you. You can remove the effects of the trauma layer by layer until you arrive at your wise and loving True Self. Your greatest challenge in life is removing all the obstacles within you to self-love, self-acceptance and self-fulfillment. I promise you this though – it is possible! I know, because I did it and so can you.
You can read excerpts from WORTHY: A Personal Guide For Healing Your Childhood Trauma (to be published early summer 2017) in my blog posts. Copyright ©2014 Josephine Faulk, MPH.